I see this…
….and think this…
Ha. Got to love Manuel.
Truth be told, there are elements that makes a whole lot of sense – cheesy ‘river of life’ opener aside.
Life coming crashing down in a moment… Check.
Going round and round the same miserable feelings of pain, anxiety, sadness, anger… Check.
Feeling somewhat adrift and ‘stuck’; how could this change, I don’t want it to change… Check.
If the fall down the waterfall that they have linked to shock, numbness and denial lasts seven months plus, then… Check.
As I was showing my kids videos of their grandad yesterday, just… disbelief. As I saw his handwriting today… Can’t believe it (literally shaking my head). As I read text messages from him… This just can’t be.
Still falling a looooong way down, it seems.
I miss him. I realised afresh the other day why you don’t just ‘get over it’. Each new part of life that can’t be shared; each breakthrough, each hardship, each joke, each achievement, each funny thing a child does or says, each new experience, each new friend, each disappointment… Can’t be shared with him. But they keep on coming and always will. So there will always be pain.
We just learn to accept it.