personal assistant: what jobs would you give away?

One of the prompts for NaBloPoMo is…

“If you had a personal assistant who you could give all your worst jobs to, what would you give them?”

I thought this could be fun to answer. Especially after a bit of a rubbish day. Now I’m going to try and not to be too predictable as I could easily just list every single household chore. I am also aware it could just sound like a big moan but I do feel a bit of a release from offloading my gripes and as I tend to depict it all in a (hopefully) good-humoured manner I think it helps me laugh it all off and gain perspective. 

1. Cleaning up stuff that is gross/super messy

At the weekend, my son and I had a lovely time of making homemade plaster of Paris to put in a mould that when all pieces are assembled makes a 3D train. It is supposed to be made out of chocolate but it just seems like torture to make that with a child who will be rationed tiny amounts of it every two to three days. Also, I know he’d rather play with it and/or paint it. Well, it didn’t work. It didn’t dry and just went all weird and bubbly. I was putting off dealing with it as there were two sheets with about a total of 20 pieces and so a lot of scraping out to do. But yesterday I noticed this rank smell, kind of similar to how our Hoover can smell when the filter needs changing. The smell attacked my nose every time I walked past the Hoover, so I empty it. Strange. Doesn’t seem too full. Clean out the inside. Hmmm. I can STILL SMELL IT. One of the set of moulds was across the other side of the room parallel to the Hoover. I go over and place my face in front of it, it STUNK to high heaven. I drop my head and mumble some unsavoury words and begin the vile task of trying to scrape half-dry half-wet and sticky, disgusting, vile-smelling crap from out of these moulds that have plenty of corners and indents… WITH MY BARE HANDS. A spoon sadly wasn’t effective enough and I was opting for efficiency over not getting gross stuff on my hands. I am nearly finished when I turn around and find my 21 month old sitting on the kitchen floor with a bag of flour between her legs that she has presumably had for a few minutes as she is surrounded by flour on the floor and covered in it. While I take stock briefly she continues her task of getting a handful and dumping it on the floor at a rate of one fistful per two seconds. 

I would have handed BOTH those tasks over without hesitation.

2. Filling out forms

BOOOOOORRING. Need I say more?

3. Going to the Post Office.

There is ALWAYS not enough staff on the desks and ALWAYS a member of staff pottering around behind and doing what looks like: NOTHING. 

4. Making every phone call I need to make.

I have always disliked making phone calls and I’m not really sure why. I remember my Dad forcing me (in a kind way) to phone the bowling alley to book a lane for me and my friends, for the very first time. I needed to be pushed into it. I remember him saying, “come one Jen you need to do this, you are 26 and married after all.” 

Not really. 

But I was old enough to need to push through the fear. I remember the cold sweats, the stuttering, the dreadful five seconds of ringing before hearing the voice of that scary 19 year old chap…. Then the elation! I had booked a lane. had really achieved something BIG. 

5. Cleaning out my Hoover when I forget to put a bag in.

As I just re-read point number one I realised… I hoovered up the flour having NOT REPLACED THE BAG.  

%$itdb@%!$?¥

What jobs would you palm off? Do you love the post office? Comment! 

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10 comments

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  1. B

    Haha classic.

    I would give putting the washing away. All that effort to clean it and the final obstacle seems so big.

    And someone to choose my clothes for me. People always see you differently to how u see yourself. The results are normally much much better!

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  2. Roma

    Tee hee! This one made me laugh Jen! I would pick changing the bed sheets… Always feel so tired at that moment and wish it was already done!!

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  3. the messy mama

    Um I think I’ll try and parcel up those door magnets for you asap!!! Filing would be my number 1 job to give to a PA. I can do it, very well, but hate filing with a passion. Making phonecalls is a close second although I’m somehow getting better at it (I think I have a few years on you though!). Cleaning the oven is a top third. But I actually did that this morning *proud* x

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  4. Jo

    For me the jobs I dislike are number 1 – washing all aspects and it never seems to end!! Number 2 – cleaning the bathroom. And finally number 3 – housework in general I would a housekeeper to do all of the housework!

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  5. Rachel

    I found it shockingly difficult to settle on which chore I’d give away. Cleaning the oven and cleaning the dishwasher are definitely top of the list though. As well as hanging baby clothes on the washing line. It takes triple the length of time a load of adult clothing does and no one warns you of this vital piece of info before it’s too late!

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