One of the prompts for NaBloPoMo is…
“If you had a personal assistant who you could give all your worst jobs to, what would you give them?”
I thought this could be fun to answer. Especially after a bit of a rubbish day. Now I’m going to try and not to be too predictable as I could easily just list every single household chore. I am also aware it could just sound like a big moan but I do feel a bit of a release from offloading my gripes and as I tend to depict it all in a (hopefully) good-humoured manner I think it helps me laugh it all off and gain perspective.
1. Cleaning up stuff that is gross/super messy
At the weekend, my son and I had a lovely time of making homemade plaster of Paris to put in a mould that when all pieces are assembled makes a 3D train. It is supposed to be made out of chocolate but it just seems like torture to make that with a child who will be rationed tiny amounts of it every two to three days. Also, I know he’d rather play with it and/or paint it. Well, it didn’t work. It didn’t dry and just went all weird and bubbly. I was putting off dealing with it as there were two sheets with about a total of 20 pieces and so a lot of scraping out to do. But yesterday I noticed this rank smell, kind of similar to how our Hoover can smell when the filter needs changing. The smell attacked my nose every time I walked past the Hoover, so I empty it. Strange. Doesn’t seem too full. Clean out the inside. Hmmm. I can STILL SMELL IT. One of the set of moulds was across the other side of the room parallel to the Hoover. I go over and place my face in front of it, it STUNK to high heaven. I drop my head and mumble some unsavoury words and begin the vile task of trying to scrape half-dry half-wet and sticky, disgusting, vile-smelling crap from out of these moulds that have plenty of corners and indents… WITH MY BARE HANDS. A spoon sadly wasn’t effective enough and I was opting for efficiency over not getting gross stuff on my hands. I am nearly finished when I turn around and find my 21 month old sitting on the kitchen floor with a bag of flour between her legs that she has presumably had for a few minutes as she is surrounded by flour on the floor and covered in it. While I take stock briefly she continues her task of getting a handful and dumping it on the floor at a rate of one fistful per two seconds.
I would have handed BOTH those tasks over without hesitation.
2. Filling out forms
BOOOOOORRING. Need I say more?
3. Going to the Post Office.
There is ALWAYS not enough staff on the desks and ALWAYS a member of staff pottering around behind and doing what looks like: NOTHING.
4. Making every phone call I need to make.
I have always disliked making phone calls and I’m not really sure why. I remember my Dad forcing me (in a kind way) to phone the bowling alley to book a lane for me and my friends, for the very first time. I needed to be pushed into it. I remember him saying, “come one Jen you need to do this, you are 26 and married after all.”
But I was old enough to need to push through the fear. I remember the cold sweats, the stuttering, the dreadful five seconds of ringing before hearing the voice of that scary 19 year old chap…. Then the elation! I had booked a lane. had really achieved something BIG.
5. Cleaning out my Hoover when I forget to put a bag in.
As I just re-read point number one I realised… I hoovered up the flour having NOT REPLACED THE BAG.
What jobs would you palm off? Do you love the post office? Comment!